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Make your own deck of coping skills

a deck of decorative cards with coping skills on them

Do you ever find that the skills you have for coping with everyday stress are not serving you as well as they could? If you suffer from depression, anxiety or trauma, it’s possible that the coping skills you learned growing up could be updated. I know my coping skills for a long time consisted of considering suicide, leaving the area, or crying. These were my go-to behaviors when I was really stressed out, and I found that they weren’t serving me very well. My therapist recommended some other options, but I would forget what I should do in times of stress. So I made a list of coping skills to help me remember.

We are all given a deck of cards to play in life that are our coping skills, and we can stack the deck in our favor in order to better deal with all the stresses life hands out. So, a fun project is to actually create a deck of cards, each with a different coping skill on it, to be used in times of stress to remind ourselves that there are more ways to handle stresses than what we learned as children. I decorated my cards with markers and made them look as cute and inviting as I could, and I use this deck when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Getting out the markers and flash cards was reminiscent of childhood, and coloring the cards with different designs was really soothing. Now when I’m stressed out, I go draw a card and do the activity that is written down. If I draw a card that doesn’t feel right for the time, I just shuffle it back in and draw again. All you need to create your own deck are some index cards and markers, colored pencils or crayons. Get into it and really personalize your deck. You’ll be more likely to use the behaviors if you choose them. Here are some examples of coping skills you might want to add to your deck. Take a walk, Take three deep breaths, curl up in a blanket and watch your favorite show, listen to music to change your mood, or take a nap. Make sure your coping skills really help you to feel better.

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How to create a life worth living

If you live with depression, chronic pain, anxiety or PTSD, you probably know what it’s like to feel that you’re life isn’t worth living. Somewhere, somehow, your will to live got stunted and you have come to accept the scraps that life has given you.

You do have the power to change your life, no matter how black it may seem at times.

Change can seem like a scary proposition though. If you struggle with these chronic conditions, change has probably meant loss. However, change can also mean addition to your life. You can change your life by adding meaning, slowly, at a pace you can handle.

If you can start to imagine one thing you could do each day that will be a step in the direction you want to head in. When I was in one of my blackest periods, leaving my house was terrifying for me. I was scared of my neighbors, I was scared of clerks, I was even scared of children. I knew that in order to get better I was going to have to go outside, but I couldn’t do it. So, I just put my shoes by the front door. That was my initial step in the right direction. A couple days later, I put on my shoes. I was still in my pajamas, hadn’t showered in a week, but I had my shoes on! I took them off after a while, but I put them on the next day again. This was within the realm of what I could do successfully each day. I created a small reward for every time I took the step to create a habit. My reward was a star on my calendar, and after a month of stars, I got to take a solo drive somewhere pretty.

Eventually, when I could see no one was outside, I started walking in my pajamas. Then I started wearing jeans and a shirt, then I started waving at people who were outside. Each day I did what I could in the direction I wanted to go.

You can use this method to create habits that will get you engaged with life again! just start with the easiest step you can think of, and track yourself and reward yourself each time you do the step. Once it becomes second nature, make it a little bit harder, but still something you can easily do.

Just remember, small steps, track and reward! Change your life for the better!